Synergy
Systems Inc. workers were aghast Thursday morning when HR rep Jessie Sikorski
flashed a cheesy thumbs up at the conclusion of her announcement on summer
wardrobe policies. The horrifying
gesture tragically seems to be contagious, as Gwen Gelish was reportedly
spotted giving a double thumbs up when she scored a free soda from the vending
machine later that afternoon.
The
source of the epidemic has not been officially confirmed, though Paula Anderson
from accounting strongly suspects marketing exec Theresa Kelly, who was spotted
giving no fewer than four thumbs ups, two high fives, and a hang ten surfer
sign in rapid succession at Wednesday night’s happy hour. “It’s just irresponsible to parade around
your coworkers when you’re experiencing those sorts of contagious symptoms,”
commented Anderson. “She could have at
least given us a warning about her situation—I definitely would have kept my
distance!”
At this
time, there is no known cure for this unfortunate condition, though management
is urging employees to sit on their hands and to avoid asking questions that could
lead to positive responses.
Point-and-shoot gestures accompanied by a wink and clicking sound have
also been banned until further notice.
