Sunday, May 31, 2015

Contagious Thumbs Up Epidemic Sweeps Office

                Synergy Systems Inc. workers were aghast Thursday morning when HR rep Jessie Sikorski flashed a cheesy thumbs up at the conclusion of her announcement on summer wardrobe policies.  The horrifying gesture tragically seems to be contagious, as Gwen Gelish was reportedly spotted giving a double thumbs up when she scored a free soda from the vending machine later that afternoon.

                The source of the epidemic has not been officially confirmed, though Paula Anderson from accounting strongly suspects marketing exec Theresa Kelly, who was spotted giving no fewer than four thumbs ups, two high fives, and a hang ten surfer sign in rapid succession at Wednesday night’s happy hour.  “It’s just irresponsible to parade around your coworkers when you’re experiencing those sorts of contagious symptoms,” commented Anderson.  “She could have at least given us a warning about her situation—I definitely would have kept my distance!”

                At this time, there is no known cure for this unfortunate condition, though management is urging employees to sit on their hands and to avoid asking questions that could lead to positive responses.  Point-and-shoot gestures accompanied by a wink and clicking sound have also been banned until further notice.

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